i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
