so explain again why im purple
no
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
