I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
