i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Your penis caused this!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
