I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
