just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
