I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
