why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
