He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
