Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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