Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is the high leading the old right now
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
