Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize