Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
