what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
