I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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