I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
