My pussy is not your playground.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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