I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
