you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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