the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Holy shit dude........stairs
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
