Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
