this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
