How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
