Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
