Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
