i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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