I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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