i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize