and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
