I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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