Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
