dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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