i just wanna soil my oats bro
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sober January is a disaster.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
