He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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