sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize