so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
