Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
