He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
love makes seman taste better
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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