so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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