do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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