i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
