then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
