the new term for farting is butt boxing.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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