I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
