She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
