Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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