My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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