Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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