we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
