i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
