I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
