Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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