I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
