Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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