Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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