I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
