I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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