So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
