I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
